Let me start off by
saying I had a very interesting weekend. Everything related to gender and
sexual identity stands out in my mind since this class begun a few weeks ago. When
I met my aunt and my grandparents at a restaurant this weekend I was more than
surprised to hear the things they had to say about a man that was more than
obvious about his homosexuality. When this man entered the restaurant my aunt
almost shouted, “Look at that queen with all of his girlfriends!” Then my
grandpa said, “Oh my God, could he be any more of a woman?” I was so embarrassed
I tried to look at the ground until the man and his girlfriends passed our
table. Didn’t my family understand that the things they said were so rude and that the man might hear
them and take offense to their hurtful words?! I guess not…
After
the man walked across the restaurant and took a seat with his girlfriends I had
a long talk with my family about the misconceptions and stereotypes of
homosexual people. I told them that it was wrong to single out homosexuals just
because of their sexual orientation and that they should not judge people. As
people, we all have the right to express ourselves freely and behave in the way
that we would like to. I explained especially to my grandparents, who have very
traditional values, that being homosexual in today’s society is much more
acceptable than it would have been in their time. I also told them that it is
any person’s right to love whomever they desire and to be happy in life,
without living in fear of their sexual identity. Even though my grandparents
still do not agree with homosexuality they stopped gawking at the man in the
restaurant and I think they finally understood why it was wrong to make fun of
him and call him names. My aunt then decided to share her thoughts that she
didn’t realize that such names could be hurtful and cruel. My aunt claims she
has five homosexual male friends that she loves hanging out with. I am glad to
hear that she is accepting of homosexual people even though her parents raised
her much differently than that.
This also made me think about the
nature vs. nurture argument that we encountered in class. I still think, whether
it be nature or nurture, that people should have the right to assume any sexual
identity that they desire without being shunned by society or even questioned.
Heterosexuals do not have to live in fear or be questioned as to why they are
heterosexual, so why should lesbians or gays have to face these problems?
Nobody walks around asking heterosexuals if or when they chose to be
heterosexual. I think many people need to understand these things and stop
searching for answers as to why people are homosexual. People
are heterosexual or homosexual because they chose to be or they are born that way. End of story. I just
want to tell people to stop questioning others and just be more open and
accepting to ways different than their own.
I can totally relate to this post and I am really glad you chose to address it. Where I am from, marching band is a very big deal. With marching band comes the colorguard, which are the people who wave the flags around and dance to the music of the band. In professional drum corps, these flag people are usually men. However in the high school setting they are predominantly young girls (my sister being one of them). I am not sure if a boy has ever tried out for colorguard, but from my knowledge we've never had one in our band. However, some of the bands we have competed against have had boys in their colorguards. When we went to watch a competition, my grandmother and father noticed a boy in the colorguard, dancing his heart out and loving life. It was so fun to see him so happy. However my grandmother and father couldn't get over the fact he was gay. It was sort of annoying because yes, he probably was, but honestly, what difference did it make at a high school marching band competition?
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that you were able to explain those things to your family. I come from a family that where I do not feel discriminated as a woman, homosexuality is another thing. Being someone who is a huge ally for the LGBTQ community, it is very hard. When I was living in France we frequently went to a "gay bar" because the music was better. My grandmother was worried that I was gay. It sort of enranged me because I thought to myself, "You've known me for 20 years, what difference would it make at this point anyways?"
My parents and grandparents are also really traditional. Even if we are of different ethnicity and religion the issues of sexual orientation is still the same. I'm very glad you addressed this issue right away instead of just sitting there doing nothing. I know how hard it can be to try to convince the older generations, but it's better to try than do nothing at all.
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